I got home from work to find three kids sat cross-legged in front of the TV and the wife simmering away in the kitchen. The playdate from hell had occurred!
The three little boys sat in front of the TV looked like butter wouldn’t melt, but the scene of carnage in my two boys bedrooms said different. Having never been to Beirut I can only surmise that the mess in Jasper and Harvey’s rooms was an appropriate representation of the warfare my wife described she had seen.
From what I was told J and his friend were discovered literally grabbing anything they could get their hands on – toys, books, clothes – and bombarding each other’s “encampment” with their missiles of choice.
Now, being dad to two boys, I have no problem with mess – I totally understand that mess and fun go hand in hand – but total disrespect and carnage are a whole different matter. What I take opposition to is that Jasper not only disrespected our house rules, but his brother’s toys and belongings.
After our visitor’s mum had taken her son home, it was time to “discuss” the afternoon’s events. I thought I would step up and deal with this as the wife was still merrily steaming away! I took Jasper to his brother’s room and asked him what he thought. His response was to hang his head and shrug his shoulders. What followed was the kind of chat you have with a six-year-old about respecting other people’s things.
To be honest, I’m not sure how much went in, but you know your kids are remorseful when they give you that certain look – and boy did I get that look from Jasper.
What came next cost me more than it cost him. “Jasper, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but because of your behaviour this afternoon there will be no computer time this weekend.”
For Jasper, this is the ultimate penalty. His lips quivered and tears rolled down his cheeks. “ I’m sorry, Daddy,” he said.
“I know you are, buddy,” I replied.
So why does this affect me more than him? you ask. Simply because at certain points in a weekend, there are times when parents need to breathe, to just have 30 minutes peace, and this takes place in our household when Jasper has his computer time.
So as the words came out of my mouth, I kissed goodbye to those quiet coffee-drinking “Me” times. I bid au revoir to my personal time and said hello to a weekend of fully engaged parenting time.
As I went back downstairs for tea, it hit me: the wife was going out all day on Saturday!
Like Father Like Son 
LOL! If you ever figure out how to stop them from creating a huge mess let me know…. mine are 12 and 14 and they STILL create disasters when their friends come over. (Just today I posted about my daughter & her constant mess!)
But, I am at a different stage, I am at the point where their leaving home is looming (5 years & I’m an empty nester????) so, the mess is nearly (not quite but nearly) endearing!
Good luck!
This is a good point mongoman and one that my wife & I have been learning I.e. finding ways to discipline that only incapacitate the child in the short term and neither incapacitate the adult nor the child in the long term.