Harvey says..

I was talking to a mate this weekend who said that he loves reading Harvey’s profound thoughts that often fill my facebook status. So here  for your delectation, delight and enjoyment are some of my favourite Harvey’s thoughts on life, travel and personal ablutions!

Best Harvey moment today – we were watching Peter Pan (not the Disney one) and Harvey was peeking through his hand because he was a bit scared. I asked him if he was ok and his serious reply was – ‘I was born ok!’

Today I woke up to 6am with Harvey singing his favourite Madonna song, Papa Don’t Preach! Funniest thing was he kept singing ‘Papa don’t preach, I’m in troubled sleep!’

Harvey asked me this morning -’why can’t we just go to Hawaii?’ a question I’m sure we’ve all asked at some point in our lives! He suggested I book tickets on a free plane not a 3 plane but a free one with free tickets!

I walked in the living room to hear Harvey say to Jasper, “if its broken fix it with goose tape” Jasper “what” Harvey “you know goose tape for fixing things” Me “Harvey do you mean Duck Tape”

I bought Harvey a new hat today. I liked it because it’s so cool, he loves it because it’s magic. This hat ladies and gents, makes you Moonwalk!

Harvey as we are walking out the door to school “People will love me today” Me “why” Harvey “coz my neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew shooooooes are awesome”!

Harvey cracks me up – when told that he’s going to have a shower he has a huge tantrum and shouts ‘I don’t like bathrooms – bathrooms are boring!’

I love my Harvey.

Why I Hug My Children

For those of us old enough to remember the news stories that came out of Romania in the late 80’s/ early 90’s, the plight of the Romanian orphans personifies institutionalised neglect and abuse. Under Nicolae Ceausescu, both abortion and contraception were forbidden which led to a rise in birth rates and, in turn, resulted in many children being abandoned.

I had a friend who gave up a year to go and work amongst these children, taking his skills there in order to make a difference. There were many stories I remember hearing about the plight of those forgotten children, but it’s the haunting conclusion of a social observation that made me determined to hug my kids as often as possible.

Sociologists found two identical orphanages -same size, same ratio of staff and children, same conditions. The only difference was that in one orphanage the babies died well before their first birthdays and yet in the other the majority survived.

After months of observation the sociologist found one other difference between the two institutions. Although the children in the first orphanage were fed and changed they were never picked up and hugged for long periods of time.  Whereas their counter parts in the second orphanage would be picked up and held by staff as they went about their duties.

The sociologists concluded one thing – that the babies were dying for want of human contact and physical touch. And their reasoning why this was vital for survival? Human contact, the process of bonding with another made the babies feel loved.

Scepticism aside for a moment – how many of us have survived hard times because we have felt the love of those around us?

I find an excuse to – as our Yankee pals would say – “love on my kids” as often as I can.

Lego Helps You Grieve

The last Monday in November 2010 turned out to be a milestone dad day for me.

It was the day my father died, he was 81. His death wasn’t a surprise but it was all rather quick. It’s not the loss of a dad that made me emotional over the  week that followed as much as what I’ve got to know about him that I didn’t know before. It’s the things I noticed about him from the paperwork he left for me and my sister to go through. It’s the stories his surviving brothers told me. It’s the re-connections I’ve made with my childhood.

My dad was born in South Kensington in 1929, the third of 6 kids. His Dad was a shop keeper and his mum obviously had her hands full with the brood! Although the third born he was the eldest son and always had a sense of responsibility that came with that honour. My first ever memory is of my dad.

I  found myself somewhat overwhelmed with all that I learnt over that first week, the gaps that were filled and the man behind the father that I discovered. Over those 7 days I  came to realise that there was lots I didn’t know, and in fact, we shared a lot in common.

The day after he died Jasper and I had had some dad and son time, we built his new Lego set, Emperor Palpatine’s Shuttle, which to be honest was a bit of light relief. Going through the instructions together, finding the pieces, re-doing it from the beginning because we made a vital mistake, for a few hours we were lost in the Lego and all was good.

I’ve been thinking alot since that week about the number of times I did stuff with my dad and the memories those carry. I want Jasper and Harvey to have loads of dad and son memories so here’s to many more hours searching for 2×4 bricks.

Look Up

A few days ago I embraced the opportunity to get out of the office and go for a walk through my favourite part of the woods where I work.  Though I’d share it with you!

I have walked down this path hundreds of times.To be honest I’ve walked down it so often now that I’m unaffected by its natural beauty and whimsical charm. I feel that I know every bend, dip, jutting out root. I’ve seen it littered with snowdrops and peppered with bluebells. I know this path and in some way this path knows me!

But today as I wondered along its freshly mulched trail I hear God say “Look up”, so I did.

I had never appreciated the canopy of crisscrossing branches above my head or the height to which they soared heavenly.

I stopped to notice the miracle of fresh new growth as leaves uncurled and buds broke into life.

I saw things from a different prospective

And I saw the sky.

What I’m taking away from my little saunter that day is that 7 years into this role of being dad, I’m in danger of unknowingly falling into the rut of everyday parenting.  Of walking the same path each day and not really engaging, noticing or hearing but unwittingly assuming and overlooking.  I’m in danger of failing to reach all the potential that I have as a dad to engage with my sons. I’m in danger of missing my boy’s fresh new explosions of growth that will take them from one season of life to the next.  There is always opportunity to see things from a new prospective if I choose to look up from the daily routine and re focus. Each day offers me the fresh possibility to head for new horizons, to see the bigger picture that sits like the wide open vastness of sky over who I am as Jasper and Harvey’s Dad.

The view is amazing so why not look up today and get re-envisioned!

Who the Hero?

Well that would be Surge and Furno! No not some latest Eastern European kids cartoon this time, they are in fact the latest LEGO Hero figures that arrived at our house courtesy of my new found friends at LEGO. Both my boys love LEGO but I love the fact that they like it for different reason.

Jasper loves to build so for him it’s all about spending time following the instructions, finding the pieces and conquering the construction. His addiction to this process started around four when he would buy and have a go at building stuff way too advanced. But give him his dues he would get there in the end with a little help from dad! Some of my favourite Dad and JJ time memories are grounded in building power miner kits like the Rock Wrecker or The LEGO city Helicopter and Motorbike.

Harvey on the other hands isn’t so bothered about the making process as much as the playing! For him it’s all about getting lost in the imaginary world that opens up once the finished toy is in his hand. Where Jasper favours Star Wars or LEGO city for Harvey it’s all about the LEGO Hero figures.

I love listening to H early in the morning when he’s in his room having quiet playtime (6-7am). The battle cries, the blood curdling deaths, the slaying of wickedness. I could listen for hours to the tactical orders issues as the fearless Surge, Furno and gang fight the latest earth destroying villains. I love that Harvey has such an amazing imagination; I love his ability to lose himself for hours with the simple figures…………it gets a bit warped in my mind though, when the villains are Woody and Buzz!!

I’ll leave the final words this week to Harvey

“I like playing with them daddy and I really like LEGO coz they battle with each other and you can put the colours together to make BIG ones”

“Daddy I need you to buy me the Yellow one”

Netmums Blogs!

My new buddies over at Netmums asked me to blog for them not once but twice this week….

Here’s the links..

Living life at warp speed!

A Christmas is boxed away for another year and the kids start to think about going back to school my thoughts turn to what kind of dad, husband, friend and man was I during 2010 and what kind of changes do I want to make in 2011.

I’m not in to making pie in the sky New Year resolutions that last a month or two but I am into making choices to improve myself for my own benefit and those around me.

I think if I was to ask the boys what words have they heard me speak the most “I love you bud” might be top but “Hang on I’m busy” would be number two on the list for sure! If I asked my wife the same question I dread to think what her

This year I want to have more time to do the things that make me happy, give more time to my  family and friends, enjoy the moment more. Maybe it’s losing my dad that has given me this prospective, maybe it’s my age, who knows, but I want to drop out of living life at warp speed and get back to the basics of having time to live. (My mate Wendy Mann gave a great preach yesterday on this very subject – check out the Kings Arms website to hear it.)

Does this sound impossible; as you read this are you laugh ting at me or nodding your head in agreement. The big question is how can I achieve this goal? I can hear my old form teacher in my head saying “goals should be achievable if they’re not then they are dreams and will always remain so” I don’t have the luxury of downsizing my salary and working less in fact I probably need to earn more, but that is most definitely going against the flow of where I want to be. So here you find me, I have a goal for 2011 but can’t see the route to get there yet.